I Know What It's Like A JTHM story
by jthmfan18
Summary: Feeling as if something was missing, Johnny C. has returned home. I wonder what will happen? Will Johnny return to his normal ways? Or will he be a peace, at last? Read and find out!
1. I Know What It's Like Info

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**Name:** Carmen Lynch

**Age:** 20

**Hair color(s):** Black, white, Pink

**Original Hair color:** Black

**Likes:** Her two friends: _Luna, age 19 ; Alex, age 18_; listening to her music/mp3 player; shopping at Goth-R-Us; watching violent shows; writing in her journal (which will also be called _Die-ary)_

**Dislikes:** Basically everything I didn't mention; her family (that she doesn't live with anymore), the pricks of society, and....well...we'll get everything else later on...it's kind of hard to explain. Oh, and she barely sleeps; perhaps about 2-3 hours a night, ok?

**Misc.**_(other things I didn't mention yet)_: She has a few things from her childhood that she kept close to her and cherishes. These things are a voo-doo looking doll, whom she calls Andy, and a cat she had when she was little (it was a kitten then), who she calls Maddie.

_**(Prologue / Pre-chapter)**_

(Your POV)

It was a nice day, weather wise; not a cloud in the sky. But everyone in the city was...well...normal. Nothing has changed. Everyone just living, seeing how much damage they could do in the world today. But then, some actually just lived their everyday life; going to work, feeding their families, just normal stuff. The people walked around, some rich, some poor; some smiling, some crying, and some screaming. Yep, this was Your everyday life.

Your name was Carmen. You were 20 years old, approximately 5' 6", and 105 lbs. Your favorite style was the goth/emo/punk style. It depended on your mood on which one you'd dress as. Your normal dress was a light pink**/**black, strapless dress that stopped just above your thighs, a black, leather jacket that covered your exposed shoulders, and your thigh-high, boots that had belt-buckles from your thighs to your feet. It was a normal attire, for your kind of people anyways. Even though you were considered goth, you weren't really. You just liked the style of clothes, as did a lot of other 'goths' out there.

You wondered around, walking the night time streets, hearing a something come from someone's lips, 'The house number 777'. You'd only lived in this certain town for about 3 years and noone lived in house number 777. Supposedly someone lived there at one time, before you moved there, but the person hasn't been sited for about 5 years or so. 'I wonder.' The house itself wasn't very...nice looking. It was considered creepy by the towns folk; along with haunted and possessed. You rolled your eyes, seeing only an abandoned, boarded house.

You walked right on by a few guys standing on the street, drunk out of their minds. They whistled at any girl that walked by; a few of them even reached out, trying to touch the girl on either her butt or chest. You kept your head down, zipping up your jacket; not because it was chilly, but so they wouldn't see your exposed flesh, thus trying to touch you. You waked right on by, keeping your head towards the ground, not making any kind of eye contact. They still whistled at you, saying very rude things; such as "Hey Baby! Why don't you come home with us?!" ; "Yeah, we'll show you a good time." ; "Aw, look boys, she's shy."

They started following after you, which caused you to keep an eye on them. This would be their last mistake tonight. You turned down an alley way, making sure noone was around. You heard their drunk laughter and calls for you, which only fueled you for your actions about to made in mere moments. You stopped, causing them to laugh, followed by them speaking, "Oh, look boys, she's giving in. We knew you'd see it our way, baby." They came up to you, grabbing your arm, roughly, pulling you to them. They gathered around you, slowly taking off your jacket, tossing it to the ground, revealing a gun holster on your arm, holding a mini, silver and black pistol. They backed away, then one smirked, "She's playing hard to get, eh? My favorite kind." And he lunged at you, but you pulled something out of your left boot (at the top), and you swiped it at the guy, which made him jump back fast, clutching his arm. He pulled his hand back, examining it, then gasped, "Blood! Look...we're sorry. Look, we'll leave you alone, ok? We promise. Please, forgive us!" You rose your hand, pointing a gun at him, "Too bad, I'm not the forgiving type." And you shot, hitting him straight in the head, blood squirting from the sudden impact from the bullet. He fell down, dead in an instant. "You, witch!!" Shouted one of the remaining men but became scared when you pointed your twin dagger at him, then twirled it, saying, "Don't worry. You'll join him in mere moments. Both of you will."

You jumped the one in front, who became scared and ran away, to no avail. You through your blade at him, hitting him straight in the arm, causing him to fall to the ground, blood seeping from his wound. You ripped out the blade, then shot at him; once in the leg, once in the arm, the shoulder, then you pointed the gun at his head, then noticed his partner run, terrified now. You shot the guy in the ankle, so he couldn't run, then shot after the runner. You caught up to him in no time, shooting him in the shin, so he'd fall to the ground. He looked at you, tears forming in his eyes, "Please..don't...we won't hurt you again. We won't even tell this ever happened. Please, spare us!" You pointed the gun at him, then spoke, "You rape people, then kill them, right?" He looked at you, confused, "Perhaps once...m-maybe twice.." You continued, "Then you don't deserve my mercy." And you shot him, killing him on the spot.

You turned to the other guy, speaking as you came up to him, "Do you know how much better the world would be if people like you never existed? People could walk at night, never fearing if they'll be killed or injured. But no, you slugs in this world pollute everything around you. I'll put you all to rest, or die trying." And with that, you shot him in the head, seeing his body fall to the ground. "Well, that's that. You're right, I did have a good time." And you walked away, not bothering to move the bodies or to clean up. You'd done this many times, getting rid of junk like them, leaving everything behind that would get you busted for the crime, and yet, noone has ever turned you in.

'Just proves it. This is what I'm meant to do then.' And you walked off, placing your gun and dagger back in their places; placing your jacket on afterwards.

* * *

Well, I hope you liked it. Tell me your thoughts, ok? Well, bye!


	2. I Know What It's Like Ch 1

[Previously]

'Just proves it. This is what I'm meant to do then.' And you walked off, placing your gun and dagger back in their places; placing your jacket on afterwards.

[Start]

You walked to your house, looking at it's built. A plain white house with black shutters. It looked very plain, as you liked it. You sat on your steps, watching people pass by. You looked at your sidewalk, thinking about how cold it looked. You reached out, feeling it; yep, it was cold. As it always was. You peered at your watch, 3:00 AM. You looked up, closing your eyes. 'Please, let me find someone...who understands me...' You opened your eyes, standing up, reaching for the door knob. You entered, Maddie running to your feet, wanting attention. "Hey, Maddie. At least you're there for me." You picked her up, sitting on the couch, flicking on the TV.

"Just in, yet another vicious murder, this time of a man found in an alley way, various shots fired at his entire body. Along with this man, two other bodies were found at the site, both with various shot wounds and a few blade wounds. The killer is still at large. Extra caution is needed when traveling at night. Now, on with the top stories of the wee-" You shut the TV off, tossing the controller to the side. Maddie ran from your arms, prancing towards her food bowel. 'These people, trying to protect those that don't deserve their kindness. It only makes my job harder. No matter, they can't hide forever, now can they?' You thought glancing out the window. You noticed a pair of headlights on the top of a high hill, that over-looked the city. 'Hm, either someone's leaving or someone's arriving. As long as they don't harm people, they're okay in my book.'

[??? POV]

You sat on your car, your book in your hand, writing something you never thought you'd write. You looked down, seeing the darkened city below; your 'home', if that's what you could call it. All you saw were present and future pricks; the people that make other's lives miserable. You continued to write:

_**Dear Die-ary,**_

_**I can't believe I'm back home, after being gone for along time. My reason for returning is unclear. I don't know what I wish to find here. Perhaps this is what 'home sick' feels like. I'm not sure. I feel as if something is missing. Killing those who harm me didn't relieve that feeling, as I thought it would. Whatever it is, I wish it to leave. Maybe then my pain would cease.**_

You turned your head up, confused a little. You'd been through hell here, why did you want to come back? You knew what you wished for secretly, but you convinced yourself that you'd never find it. 'I'm back...damn something must be wrong with me for it to come to this...'

You walked down the street, seeing the same faces, only a little older than before. Your old house was empty, as you expected. You visited Squee, who seemed to still be afraid of you. Could you really blame him? As you walked, you heard about the recent murders happening, which came of no surprise. The thorns of society would always exist; always causing harm to others. Those that did see your views never did anything to change anything. You walked by a familiar place. At least they still had brain freezies here. There was something that'd give you a second of joy.

You still felt that feeling, even after having a cherry brain freezie, cheese nubs, and watching your old late-night cartoons. (I believe he watches those...right?) Perhaps it's time to go back to your old ways after all. It always helped, if for mere moments. 'I guess, I'll go out for a 'walk' then.'

[Your POV]

You went for a walk, after getting a few hours of sleep. It was around 6 AM. The street was almost bare. You had your gun and dagger on you, just in case. You walked by the house 777, seeing a dim light inside it lit up. 'Someone finally moved in it, eh?' You walked by Squee's house, who was sitting on the porch, clutching Shmee, his teddy bear. He was 10 years old, and yet, he seemed like he never changed much. His parents were horrible; his father seemed to hate him, while his mother was constantly doped up, hardly recognizing him. He seemed afraid of everything, having to learn how to be brave on his own, which wasn't easy. You walked up to him, speaking to him, "Hey, what're you doing out here?" He looked at you, fear evident in his eyes, but he answered, "Shmee heard things inside, I feared it was 'him' back." You looked at him confused, "Him? Him who? Come on, Squee, it's really late. You should be sleeping."

You took him to his room, seeing his window broken, which you figured was a theif. 'Great, now breaking into kids' rooms.' This was getting ridicules. "Squee, stay here, all right?" He was trying to say something, but you shook your head, pulling out your gun slowly. You signaled him to stay quiet. He did, but looked scared with your actions, although you'd save him from all kinds of criminals before. You shrugged off the thoughts of his emotions and concentrated on the thief. He was in the bathroom, throwing things on the floor. 'Wait is he going to steal bandages?' You thought, laughing to yourself. You slowly opened the door, careful to not make a sound. You seen a guy with messy black hair, a long black shirt with striped sleeves, black pants, and buckled boots that stopped around his knees. He seemed to be looking for something, not even noticing you were there. You were very confused, hearing him mumble some unknown words; a few you were able to make out, able to form a single sentence, "Where the fuck did they put it this time? I leave for a short time and everything changes, damn it!"

You looked at Squee, who was holding Shmee, peering around the edge of the door, as if he couldn't believe the guy was there. You pulled him from the door, wanting ask him about the man; perhaps Squee knew him. You accidently made something fall off a nearby shelf, which made a alight 'thump', which cause the guy to start talking out loud, still searching the cupboard, "Squee? Where is the damn bactine? Everything has moved since last-" He turned around, expecting to see little Squee, which he did, but he seen you as well, surprised by your form. "Oh, hello there. And who might you be?" You didn't think about your answer, you just started speaking, "You break in, tear apart the bathroom looking for whatever, and all you can say is 'Hi'?....Not to be rude, but, what the HELL are you doing here?" He looked offended, and even had a slight glare in his eyes, but he answered, "I was looking for the bactine. Some of this blood happens to be mine. And who are you? I don't believe I've seen you here before." You crossed your arms, exposing your hidden gun, which caught his eyes, making him glare at you. "I'm a neighbor of Squ...uh...Todd. And you? I've only been here for a few years, but I've never seen you before."

He continued to look, speaking, "Ah, there it is." And he poured some of the liquid on himself; obviously cleaning his various cuts. "Fine..don't answer me..." And you bent down to Squee, "Well, he's obviously no threat, so, go back to bed." The guy looked at you, "You take care of him?" You looked at him, "Not take care...more of look after. His parents won't...so I do. This kid would be dead if it weren't for me." He ended speaking again, "Neighbor, uh?" He walked to the windowsill, grabbing on it with one hand, then looked at Squee, "Why'd you lock the window, Squee? I thought I told you not to." Squee was silent, only getting more scared, which caused you to react, "Alright, whoever you are. You got what you wanted, so, why don't you just leave?" He gave you a sight smirk, in a sadistic way, speaking again, "Leave? I don't think so. Don't you see?" He got closer, his smirk becoming more sadistic, if it were possible, "We're neighbors as well."

Neighbors? The only house next to you was the 777 one. You continued to stare at him, then he spoke again, "Where are my manners? My name is Johnny, but you can call me 'Nny' for short." You looked at him, "Why should I trust you enough to give you my name?" He looked at you, "It's only kind." He had a point, so you spoke, "My name is Carmen." He smirked again, before leaving, but went back to Squee, "Thanks for the disinfectant." You watched him run back to him house; why he ran, you didn't know. 'Wow...he's a strange one...maybe be a little...insane..' You told Squee to go back to bed, then you left.

[Johnny's POV]

The girl intrigued you. She seemed ready to shoot if you seemed a threat to Squee. She seemed to be okay, but you didn't how she really was. You shook off the thought, turning back to your tied up victim, holding a saw in one hand. "Why am I here? Answer me, faggot!!" Wouldn't these assholes ever learn? You could see why that girl didn't like people like them; as you didn't either. All this one kept doing was ranting, cussing you out constantly. You held your blade up, very close to his throat, all he did was smirk, "You think that can scare me? Ha! You don't have the guts to do it! All talk and no bite." Really? Was he in for a surprise. You didn't like to kill before, not unless the people really deserved it; or for that cursed wall of yours. But you were colder now than back then. Their screams didn't affect you as bad; but there was that tiny sting of guilt inside. "You're just like that girl....whatever her name is! All she ever talked about was 'getting rid of trash'; whatever that fucking meant. But all she ever did was creep everyone out!"

His constant rambling was getting on your nerves now. You'd fix that real soon. You walked over, getting a needle and thread, looping the thread through the needle. You brought it over, holding it up, causing the guy to get wide eyed, "Wh-what are you going to with that? Huh?" Oh, he knew. He knew very well by now that you were serious. In no time, his mouth was sewn shut, but he was moving; the pain he was experiencing when causing him to fear his life now. "There, now...where were we?" You looked at the saw you had in your hand moments ago, deciding if you wanted to use it still; or pick a different 'toy'. 'Oh, these decisions, the ones I hate the most. Oh! I know.'

[Afterwards]

You sat in your bathroom, cleaning off the various saws and knives you'd use moments ago. You didn't seem that different from before the various people; some still tied in your various basements, still hooked up to various torture machines. The only thing that was different from before you left was your emotions were almost gone; a few sadly remained. You looked out your boarded up window, staring at Squee's place, the lights were all out. You looked pass his house, to hers. Her lights were still on; all of them actually. It had to have been pass 2 AM and she was still up? Another thing caught your attention about her. She seemed cold herself, to a certain extent. She cared for Squee, but that seemed all she cared for. You couldn't help but wonder, why? Perhaps she had her own story that noone knew about. That didn't matter now though. You vowed to leave all emotions behind, not surrendering yourself to any of your own desires and/or feelings. But still, a small part of you was still curious.

[END]

Well, did you like it? Yes? No? Well, I hope it wasn't too bad. I know, it's hard to get Johnny in character. If you have any tips for Johnny's character,please, give them to me. (AKA: Message me!!)


	3. I Know What It's Like Ch 2

**I know what it's like... - ch 2**

It had been about a week or so since the stranger moved in; whom Squee said he knew. He seemed very strange though and Squee seemed to be afraid of him. Then he said that thing about blood when you first met him. That made you wonder. You sat on the edge of the dock near a river (let's say there's one in Johnny's world, ok?), staring at your reflection. The water made it look distorted, so you swept your hand through it, making it appear even worse. You now traced the water with your index finger, boredom over-taking you. "Hey, what are you doing out here?" You heard a familiar voice, one that you were actually happy to hear. "Luna?" You turned your back slightly, so you could see her face. She nodded, "Of course. Who else would be out here with you?" You smiled, standing up, "True. Noone else speaks to me, except you and Alex, of course." She shook her head, "That's because you're so reserved. The only things you comment on around people are the crimes, saying they're 'justice'. Murdering isn't justice, you know that."

You hung your head, "If you seen how the world really is, you'd see it my way." She looked at you, then gave a slight smile, "True. I never had to live the life you did. I guess you'd see things different. After all, your parents were both murdered--" You cut her off, "They deserved it, Luna. I hated my family, all of it." She looked at you, "Why? I can understand your parents, they were assholes, but...why everyone else?" You looked at the ground, scowling at it, remembering your entire family, and how much you loathed them. "Hey," She began, stopping you, making you look her in the eye, "you can tell me." But, you couldn't. You couldn't anyone. Not even your best friends.

[Flashback]

A small figure of a female stood among older people. She was crying, on her knees, sunken to the ground. She had tears rolling down her face, dripping on the ground. People were laughing at her, then carried on with their own conversations, leaving her to her tears. The girl was very young, perhaps 10, maybe younger. She looked up, hearing something, "Oh, get up, you twitཀ You shouldn't getting your new dress all dirtyཀ I hear it's only a rental. You're parents would never go through the trouble of actually buying you a dress; after all, you're only adopted. Why they wanted you, I've never figured out, actually."

The little girl got even more tears in her eyes. But she was forced to her feet. "I told you, get upཀ Now, go over and bring your parents something to eat. It's the least you can do." She forced the girl over to food table, picking various foods, tossing them on a plate the young girl was holding. She looked at the girl, "See, these are the foods they eat. They eat good food, not junkཀ So, no candy, got that?ཀ" The young girl nodded, then walked over to her parents, not knowing the mean, old lady had tricked her. "Mama, Daddy...I brought you your food." And she held the plate up, smiling at her parents, expecting them to be happy. Suddenly, she heard a crash, followed by the plate being knocked out of her hands, causing her to jump in fear.

"What is this shit?ཀ You know I hate fruit, Carmenཀཀ I swear, you're hear to just irritate my very soulཀ Now, take it backཀ" Her father yelled, throwing the plate to the ground in a rage, causing the small child to run back to the table. She walked by the mean lady, who spoke, "Nothing but trouble. You can't even give food to your own father properly. You're a failure, Carmen. That's all you'll ever be." She walked off, gossiping with a few older ladies, who all starting looking towards the small child. She looked towards the ground, getting her father a new plate of food. She was hated by her family, yet, she didn't know why. She was adopted into this...."family", if you could call it that. This life would put her on a road that she would call her 'life', something she loathed inside. A never ending cycle of events. And little did she know, tricks and ridicules would be a least of her problems.

The little girl was now a bit grown, perhaps 14. She wasn't as naive. But she still longed to be needed. She kept that in the open, yet everyone seemed to ignore her wants, ridicules thrown at her like baseballs, hitting her hard, emotionally. She finally found one boy who actually seemed to like her company and she thought that things would finally start getting better. She was wrong. Her grandma (the mean lady) had grounded her for something stupid, causing her to stay inside, meaning she couldn't see her friend. She stayed on the bed, looking at her journal, the only friend she'd known for years, other than her toys, Andy and Maddie. They were always there for her, comforting her with their faces and words. They might've been just toys to most but to her they were friends. They spoke to her, giving her comfort, even saying things like 'Give them payment. Hurt them. Show them your pain.' But Carmen could never do that. She hated violence.

Besides, she had a friend now. An actual, living, breathing friend. Her luck was changing. Or so she thought. Inside her heart, she began to smile, not knowing that that smile would soon be broken by hurt.

She came home one day, after getting things from the store for everyone, excluding herself, as usual. She found an envelope on her bed, with his writing on the front. She smiled, hoping he'd written her a 'hello'. She tore open the letter, finding a very sloppy written message inside:

_**Dear Carmen,**_

_**I thought we were friends, but how could you betray me like that? Telling me you were being treated like shit at home. Your grandmother told me the truth. I can't believe you lied to me. I thought I knew you. Turns out, I didn't. Is this why you don't have friends? Because you lie to each one? Well, I guess I know there are people out there who make fun of us that really don't have it bad. I just never thought you'd be one of them.**_

_**Justin**_

She dropped the letter, one phrase repeating over and over in her mind, 'Your grandmother'. She bent slightly to the ground, tears welling up in her eyes. She looked out her window, seeing someone stare up at her, smirking. 'That witch...' She thought, balling her fist, glaring at the woman that she had come to hate. 'I wish...she would just disappear.'

"Then make her, my dear." Carmen heard from behind her. It was her doll, Andy. "Andy? What do you mean?" She sat on the edge of her bed, picking up the small voo-doo doll, which answered her, "You know exactly what I mean, Carmen. Show her how she makes you feel. Show her loneliness, pain, and agony. Show her how you really feel about her." Carmen got wide-eyed, "You mean...kill her? I can't. I can't even hurt an animal, you know thatཀ" Andy seemed to look up at Carmen, "Then you'll never be rid of her; never able to live truly. She made you loose your best friend. Show her your fury." Carmen dropped Andy, "I can'tཀ I hate her yes, but...I could never kill anyoneཀ" And she left her room, going downstairs. She seen her father and mother, sitting at the table, who glared at you when you came down, "Carmen, what are you doing down here? You're grounded to your room. Now, go back up and be a good girl, understand?" She glared at them, "You mean to not bother you guys. You guys wouldn't care if I left this house." Her father stood, followed by her mother, "You're right, Carmen, we wouldn't care. But where would you go? A fourteen year old can't live alone. You couldn't survive aloneཀ" Carmen looked down, understanding the words from Andy now. 'Make them disappear, Carmen.' She heard in her mind. You nodded in her mind. She knew what she'd do. Little did she know how it'd affect her afterwards.

[That Night, approx. mid-night]

Carmen looked down at the bodies strung on the floor, blood seeping out of them. One still moved, staring at its killer. "You little...witch." She heard her grandmother say, breathing heavily. Carmen picked up the knife she'd used, staring at her grandmother, "You made me this...thing. Aren't you happy? Now, smile, Grandma." And with that, she fell limp, her soul finally left her old, wrinkled body. Carmen leaned against a wall, dropping her knife, sliding down the wall, hiding her head in her knees. She wept, not over killing her family, but over the idea that she waited until it came to that. She looked at the blood on her hands, then ran to the bathroom, washing it off completely. She walked back to the room where they all laid, scared now. One thing they said was true, what would she do? Where she go? She'd have to make up a lie. One that would follow her the rest of her life.

[End of Flashback]

You looked at the water, as Luna looked at you, staring at your back. You remembered everything about your past; every painful memory, one right after the other. You felt tears wanting to come out but you denied their exit. "Carmen? Is it that bad? I mean I know you've been through a lot but..." Luna started but you cut her off, "You have no idea the hell I've been throughཀ Nobody doesཀཀ" She backed away, then seen people looking at the scene you were starting. "Carmen, stop it. We're being watchedཀ" You looked at her, sending a scowl almost, "I. Don't. Care." You stood, walking passed her, "Let them stare. See if I care." And you walked right on pass her. 'I'm sorry, Luna. But this is how it must be.' Was your only thought, as you walked off, your arms crossed, hugging your small frame.

[Luna's POV]

You were very concerned, as Carmen had never acted like this, at all. It made you curious as to what happened to her. Perhaps she seen her family murdered in front of her? The killer was never caught either. Perhaps, deep inside, she blamed herself for the horrid incident? Whatever the cause, you wanted to get to the bottom of it and have your best friend back.

[about dusk or so]

As you walked, back to your own home, you were caught up by a strange occurrence. A man was dragging someone; two people by the looks of it. They seemed knocked out. You decided to follow the person, wondering what was going on. You followed until he went into a house, that was right next to Carmen'sཀཀ 'Oh no. This can't be goodཀཀ'

You turned around, seeing Carmen walking towards you, at a far off distance though. She seemed to be thinking to herself, not noticing anything going on around her. Your eyes turned back towards the house, which was in front of you now, until you caught a glimpse of a pair of eyes watching you. You flinched, then turned away, walking away this time. 'I don't like that guy. Who is he? He looks so familiar. But...why?' You looked at Carmen, walking pass her this time, deciding to actually go home this time. You took one glance at the creepy house, not seeing eyes this time, happily. 'My imagination? Could've been. But...I still have this feeling.'

[Your POV]

You sat on your steps, watching the stars and moon beginning to take shape in the slightly darkening sky. You hugged your knees, placing your head on the top of your knees. You sat there for a few minutes, complete silence engulfing your being. You had rapid thoughts running through your head, all making your think about the things you do, or did in your case now. Killing was killing, however you thought of it as 'helping people in need'. Was it really that? Or murder? You shook your head, looking at the stars again. You envied their existence. They twinkled in the darkness, never seeming to loose their light, no matter how far away they seemed. You looked ahead of you, seeing a light on in that neighbor's house. You believed his name was Johnny. You wondered what his story was. Why did he leave? Why did he return? Why would he even want to? Then you turned to Squee's house, which was dark already. You knew his life was horrible, although his father was blind; however that one happened you didn't care. At least he never complained about seeing Squee now. You seen everything around you look normal; people walking around, men looking at women with one thing on their filthy minds, people talking dirty, making fun of people that they felt were 'under' them; all of the people that you detested now.

You walked inside, sitting on your couch, turning on the TV, hearing the newsperson confirm more deaths, not by your hands though. "Somebody else is now committing murders huh? Just someone else to get in my way." It went on more, telling of how brutal they were, which only fueled your anger for that murderer. Yes, you murdered horrendously but you did it for a reason. Those people deserved it but these did nothing. 'Don't worry. I'll find whoever is doing this and give them a taste of their own medicine.'


	4. I Know What It's Like Ch 3

I know what it's like - ch. 3

It'd been a week since you watched the newscast of the brutal murderer, and ever since, you'd searched for the person, always not finding anything. It was beginning to piss you off, actually. "This is stupidཀ" You shouted, throwing a pillow at a nearby wall. Yes, you were inside, again. You'd been in here often, for some reason. These walls, they were the only comfort from the vile world you were born into. They could never harm you nor pick at you, which made them comfort you. You looked at a window, seeing the sunrise very close, meaning you'd been up all night, again. 'Boy, there's a lot of 'again's in my life lately, eh?' You asked noone in particular, but you always got an answer back from Andy. This time was different.

[3rd Person POV]

'_**My dear, your life has gone down hill, thanks to you being weak.'**_

She heard, a voice that she was NOT familiar with. She turned around, seeing a rag doll. She'd bought the doll at a gothic-looking, toy store a few days ago; it was cute, so she got it, thinking nothing of it. 'Well, that was different.' She thought, picking up the doll, gently, "Did you just speak?" She then heard a laugh in her mind, 'Yes, dear, however you don't know me, truly. You see, I am apart of you; your dark-ish side, if you will. You may name me whatever you wish.' She stared at the doll, putting it back down, "Now I hear you talking, sheesh. I'm trying to get better, mentally, not worse. Sometimes, I think Andy is enough. I don't need you." She heard the doll laugh, humored my her comment, "You'll never get rid of me. I'm with you until the end. I'm you, so you are me, in a sense. Besides, I'm here to help you, in whatever way I should see fit at the present time." This time it spoke, seemingly in the open . It was a rag doll, how could it speak? She eyed it, one eye-brow raising, "How can you talk?" She had to ask, as she was curious. "I speak in your mind, dear. Your mind is so bad, that you hear me as if you'd be hearing an actual person." She spoke, again out-loud. "Whatever, if you say so. And what do you exactly mean by 'weak'? I haven't gotten weaker."

"I mean by that you cower from these 'people'. You hide inside, until they come out. A animal doesn't hide from their prey, they stalk it." She spoke, actually making sense. "Yes, for animals, that's correct. But I'm not an animal. I'm helping these people. I destroy the filth, nothing else. The others are nothing to me. So, shut up...um...I should name you, eh?" Carmen thought out-loud, thinking of an appropriate name for the time being. "Um...Chloe? I'll call you Chloe." She spoke, turning towards the doll, who seemed to be silent. 'Now it's quiet. Oh boy...what am I getting myself into?'

[Your POV]

You sat on your front steps, as it was night time again, thinking about Chloe's words. It was true, you'd get more done by stalking people, actually taking out the bad for good and first hand. After all, why should you wait for the news to tell you? Then you heard Andy shout, actually telling you to refrain from it that way, "NOཀ Don't it itཀ You're taking advice from a newcomer? That's not like you, Carmen. What does that doll know?" You seen Andy beside you, as you brought her outside, as a sort of companion, "what do you mean? She's apart of me, just as you are. Your opinions are likely to be just a s flawed as hers, because they're mine." She spoke again, "True, but why change the way you've done things? Why take them out immediately? You could get hurt." You picked her up by one of her arms, dangling her in front of you, "Oh sure, now you care about me? What's in it for you?" She was silent, so you spoke again, "You know, you two are driving me nutsཀ I'm leaving you here while I go for a walk. And just a walk, I don't feel like dealing with people tonight."

You threw her inside, literally, hearing, "AHཀ HOW DARE YOU THROW MEཀཀ" You rolled your eyes, not thinking anything of it. 'What is she going to do? She's a doll, just like Chloe.' You thought, closing the door. It was a crisp night, not that you cared; you actually enjoyed it. A crisp feel in the air made it more comfortable. You carried your twin blade dagger on you, for protection this time actually. You actually wanted no killing. Not that you cared about the blood-shed. You just didn't feel like messing around with those fucks is all.

"Hey, isn't that the girl that did those three in a while back?" You heard a few guys whispering, then they looked at you. 'Great. Just fucking great.' You thought, embracing for their attack, which came in a few moments. You pulled out your blade, swiping it upwards towards one of their faces. Blood splashed on your face, which you didn't even bother with. "FUCKཀ BITCHཀཀ" The guy yelled, holding his cheek. You gave no emotion, "Look, I'm willing to let you guys live, only because I'm in no mood for your shit tonight..so if you'll just-" You were cut off when you were tackled to the ground by one of the men. Your dagger was knocked out of your hand, making you almost defenseless. "Oh, looking for this?" The guy said, holding your dagger, pointing it towards you. You glared at him, trying to get up, only to be pushed down by his buddies. "I'm gonna carve you up until you're hardly recognizable." You looked at him, then the dagger. You were in trouble. 'This is not gonna be good. How can I get out of this one?' You looked around, actually seeing no way out of it, sadly.

You felt the cold metal being met with your skin on your cheek, followed by a smooth liquid trail down your cheek. You had been cut. You glared at them. "How does it feel? To be on the other end of the stick?" You heard one of the guys say. You smirked, which he just happened to see in the faint glint of the street lights. "Oh, you think I'm being funny, do you? Let see how funny you think being covered in your own blood is, shall we?ཀ"

'**You're weak, Carmen. Show these men the real you. The one that will clean the fucks in this town. Make them seel the light, if you will.'**

You heard Chloe's voice in your mind. You knew it was just yourself speaking, actually, but she was in you now. She could make her words own whenever she felt like it. And this time, you seen them to be true. You smirked even wider, then spoke, in a most sinister voice, one you yourself didn't even know existed, "OH, on the contrary. I think it will you to be meeting my cold steel."

Without even a blink, you kicked one of the men holding your down. The other your grabbed with a newly freed arm by the neck. His eyes grew wide, seeing your new found strength. You seen the new-found fear in his eyes, smirking at it. You pushed him back, not noticing the sharp glass fragments in the form of a broken window frame. He let out a piercing scream, which you paid no mind to. You looked at the 'leader' in the small group. He held your dagger up, feeling confident. You smirked, "You think that scares me? Well, this should be interesting."

You jumped to your feet as he ran forward, trying to plunge the dagger into you from the front. He stopped, noticing that you slipped behind him until you grabbed him by the throat from the behind. He froze, glaring at you, whispering, as you were silently picking up a long, sharp piece of glass, "You think you can kill me? You're even weaker than I thought." You smirked, "Really? We'll see.." With that, you plunged the large glass shard into his stomach, feeling his blood seep from the new wound onto your hand. It was only in a mere inch or so. "You were saying?" You asked, digging the sharp deeper, by a centimeter or two deeper with each word you spoke. His eyes got wider and wider with every word, as it went in deeper.

Then you heard him say, "All right...I'm sorry. Just let me go...I promise..I'll never.." You yanked the sharp upwards, tearing his flesh vertically now, making him release a scream from his lips. 'Please...please...I bed of you..." He began, only to have you pull it up again, tearing is flesh even more. "Please, please, please, please, please.....that's all you people ever know how to fucking sayཀ You never care what you do to other people, until you're caught in the act and punishedཀ Well, I'm sure you'll learn with this lesson...it'll be one you'll NEVER forgetཀཀཀ" And you pulled it up one final time, before tearing it out, allowing him to fall to the ground. He cowered down, trying to desperately scoot away from you all he could. "Oh, now look whose running away." You knelt down to him, scraping a few large shards of glass in one hand, speaking at the same time, "You know. I was actually thinking of giving up on 'hunting' your kind. But I'm actually happy for this little encounter. You helped me, you know. You allowed me to see why I first choose my destiny in this fucked up town. So, I thank you. I just wanted you know that your death will not totally be in vain. Although, I do have a painful show for you today." With those last words, you lifted up his right hand, then 'nailed' it to the wall behind him with a glass shard. You repeated this with the other one as well. "Now, stay here. I'll take care of your friends first. I'll be back, don't worry." You said, rather hyper-like, turning to the other two.

The one whom you kicked earlier jumps to his feet, taking off on foot. The other one wanted to move but the glass in his back prevented that one. You ran after the first one, catching up to him in no time. You grabbed him by the shirt, throwing him to the ground, your dagger in your hand this time. "I have a feeling things will end differently this time. You guys picked the wrong one to fuck around with this timeཀ" You walked around, almost in a taunting manner, then stopped behind him, "Don't worry, I'll make it fast for you. The other two...I can't promise the same thing." You bent down, tucking your dagger in your boot, then grabbed his head on both sides, then **SLOWLY** twisted it around; of course, he tried to escape by running away. You'd take of that. "You're making things harder than they should be, ya know." You stated, grabbing your dagger, slicing his ankles, making it nearly impossible to walk. "You know, I have a batter idea." You grabbed the bang-area of his head, pulling his head back, forcing him to look you in the eye. "Smile. Tell Satan Hi for me." You spoke, then stabbed your dagger right throw his neck, piercing his wind-pipe and even spine in that area. He wasn't dead completely. You tore the dagger out, then stabbed him in the chest, arms, anywhere your arms could reach, blood splattering on your face here and there.

You turned to the glass-embedded one, walking over to him, slowly. He tried to move away, but couldn't. You simply bent down, tucking your dagger away; you wouldn't need it this time. "You know. I actually don't enjoy killing. But you people give me no choice. Why can't you just shut your mouths and carry about your fucking day without making someone feel worse than shit? Why? Is it that fucking hard? I just don't understand." You spoke, running your finger threw the blood that trickled from his various cuts and gashes. He coughed, blood ejecting from his throat now, meaning death was near, "And why can't you *cough* mind your own *cough* fucking business?" You smirked, "Oh, I'd like to. Nothing would give me enough pleasure than just to be able to enjoy my day. But no, you fucks have to exist in society. I suppose I should end your suffering. It'd be mean to let your go like this." His eyes got wide, as he seen your hands lay on his stomach and chest, then pushed his body deeper into the frame, causing his eyes to grow in size. You pushed harder, until he finally quit moving, but he was breathing still, a bit. "Hm...I suppose I can let you think about what you've learn while you wait to die. Oh yeahཀ I almost forgot about your other friendཀ Now, hopefully you've learned your lesson, young man..well, old man..I guess."

You turned to the one you had 'nailed' to the wall. He had his body hanging, only his 'nailed' up hands keeping him from collapsing. He barely looked up, signaling he was still alive and, even better, conscience. "Oh, thank heavensཀ I thought you had gone before I could 'teach' you. Well, I'm thankful for thatཀ After all, all of this would've been a waste." You smirked, pulling your dagger out, stepping closer to him. All that could be heard was the screech of his screams piercing the night.

You now walked out from the24/7 mart, a Brain-freezy in your right hand. You were happily sipping it, as if nothing had happened mere moments ago. "Miss, did you hear those screams? It seems as if those murders have started up again." You looked at the woman, "Don't worry, those murders from five years ago will not go unsettled. I assure that killer will be found. Peace has to come, one way or another." She looked at you, shivering from your cold, cruel words.

"**That's it, Carmen. You know what you must do. Find that killer. Make them see that errors of their ways****ཀཀ ****Don't let your passion be wiped out by anyone or anything****ཀ"** Spoke Chloe, as you could feel her almost sinister presence inside you grow. You were giving her power, you knew that, but you knew that you were better off this way. No conscious, no guilt, nothing to keep you from 'teaching' your true to the scum around these streets.

"Oh, don't worry, Chloe. You'll have your fun. And in time, I'll find this killer. And I'll if they're actually helping me in my quest for riding this world of it's trash or just getting in my way." You spoke, not caring if people heard you.

You then heard a sudden comment from Andy, more as a suggestion from her, "Carmen, why don't you track that neighbor-person? He seems to fit the bill. That little, neighbor-kid seems to be terrified of the guy. I'm not saying he's a killer, just watch him. These murders usually happen at night. If nothing else, go outside from 2 AM to like 5 AM. You need to watch the people at night, if you're actually serious about finding this killer."

You tilted your head, as if thinking hard about something, then you smiled, "You know, Andy, that's a good ideaཀ For once, we actually agree on something. I'll start that tomorrow night."


	5. I Know What It's Like Ch 4

I Know What It's Like - Ch. 4

[That night]

[Johnny's POV]

**(NOTE: this is around the same time you were talking to that woman in the last chapter.)**

You paced in your house, watching people walk down the street. It'd been an entire week since you'd left your house. Why you had remained inside was a mystery to you but you never actually thought about it. You had started to hear Nailbunny again, which was a surprise to you. Of course, the doughboys never made another appearance and you never really wanted them back. All they ever did was command you to do things; you wanted to be free from things controlling you, not invite them to do it again. "You're always a slave, Nny. When will you understand that? These hopes and goals of yours can never happen. You want to be cold and yet want others to accept you. It won't ever happen...because it can't!!!!" Shouted Reverend Meat, with his usual rants that sometimes it made you crazy; well more crazy than before. "I believe I told you nothing will ever control me!! I was controlled by a monster and was a flusher already; I refuse to allow myself to be down that path again!!"

"Yet, you want people to accept you? You'll never accept others, so why should they accept you? Look at that neighbor girl. She has the look of distrust written all over her face, Johnny. She's just one of the many!! Your goal is a fantasy. So, drop these foolish thoughts of yours and go out. I hear the dance club is open tonight." Spoke Reverend Meat, again annoying you to the brink of screaming. You turned from him, closing your eyes, thinking to yourself, 'I'll ignore his constant rants...I'll show him...I just won't address it any furth-' Then you screamed at him, very randomly, "I SAID NO!!! Why should I care what these fucks think of me?!" That was the last thing you told him, before walking out of the house, slamming the door behind you. You then thought to yourself, 'Wait, what exactly was I going to do? Ah, fuck. I guess I could walk around.' Your mind ended up drifting to the girl Reverend Meat mentioned. What did she think of you? Wait!! Why the fuck did you care even?! You sighed, thinking that this was the reason you wanted to feel nothing; it was far to troublesome for you to worry over. 'I don't need anyone. It's too late for sympathy.' In truth, you wanted to feel accepted and have a friend..perhaps a few people to actually talk to but nothing too personal. That was something that was far beyond reach, considering what happened to Devi, even though it was your fault. Sometimes you wanted to have the company of a companion and other times you just wanted to be left alone. You wondered what you actually wanted. You heard that friendship could help these things but your situation is very different from the other stories that friendship helped 'cure'.

"**Miss, did you hear those screams? It seems as if those murders have started up again." **

You heard a woman say, not very far away from you. You decided to go have a look; it was better than going back home to only hear Reverend Meat talk about his shit. You walked over, seeing that neighbor-girl speaking to the woman; she didn't look too happy either. She looked different, actually. Not by appearance, of course, but there was a different feeling about her; almost an angry feeling. She answered the woman, not in a friendly tone either,

"_**Don't worry, those murders from five years ago will not go unsettled. I assure you that that killer will be found and dealt with. Peace has to come, one way or another." **_

The woman shivered at the girl's words; you believed the girl was named Carmen..or something like that. Carmen walked away from the woman, speaking to herself, in a way that was very familiar to you. Perhaps others heard the kind of things you did. You followed, actually intrigued about her mental conversation that was being spoken out loud.

"_**Oh, don't worry, Chloe, I'll listen to you, for now. But we're doing this my way. And in time, I'll find this killer. And I'll see if they're actually helping me in my quest for ridding this world of it's trash or just getting in my way."**_

The girl spoke again, her arms crossed in front of her. She seemed to be talking to something beside her, as her head was constantly positioned that way. This voice she spoke in was different, a little darker than you remembered, then again, your memory wasn't the greatest. And who was Chloe? This actually intrigued you, which was good..and bad. Anything that even slightly sparked your interest in a human always ended up bad. You stopped, turning yourself around. Anything that involved people was a bad idea.

"_No, Nny!__Go after it!__"_

You heard in your mind, a voice you had not been used to being back yet. "Nailbunny?" You asked out lout, knowing it was him.

"_Nny, you want to be accepted, yet you always push yourself away."_

You rolled your eyes, knowing where this was going already. "I told you before, it's too late for any of that shit. I'm better off without any emotions or any type of human need. It always ends the same. I can't even remember a friend in my life. Who's to say I fucking even ever had one? They all betray you, leaving you to your sadness and depression and shit. Well, you know what? FUCK THEM!!" You shouted, not realizing the girl was looking your way.

"_Is __**THIS**__ the new life you wanted, Johnny? Just listen to me, damn it!__"_

You stopped, giving him the chance to speak, though it was really no use to you.

"_You need people to make you get better. You can still change, you know that inside you somewhere!__That girl before, she had the cure, but you drove her away. You have to accept things, even though you know things will go bad eventually."_

You thought about that for a second, thinking if he was actually right. You looked down, "Why would I accept something when it'll just stab me in my own fucking back?!" You glared at the air, becoming angrier and angrier by the second. By now, unknown to you, the girl was watching your every move and heard your every scream at the air. You looked up, seeing her stare at you, but she just turned around, as if acting like she didn't care if you were crazy or that she already knew it and you had just proved her theory. Yet, she said nothing to you; which was a first for you.

You followed her still, hearing her slight dark mumbles, meaning a headvoice was no doubt 'talking' to her; you knew what it was like to have them talk to you and you automatically answer back. You caught enough of her 'conversation' to form a sentence or two:

"**-These murders usually happen at night. You can start by watching these 'things' outside from 2 AM to around 5 AM. You need to watch the people at night, if you're actually serious about finding this killer."**

You got closer, not noticing that you were actually getting interested in her external conversation. You seen her head tilt a bit, as she stopped, then she turned towards the air beside her, giving a small sadistic smile at the open air; she was talking to a headvoice, you knew it. Perhaps it was the thing she referred to as Chloe? Was that the name she gave it? You heard a reply to her previous 'statements':

"**You know, Andy, that's a good idea! For once, we actually agree on something. I'll start that tomorrow night."**

Andy?! How many of these things did that girl have?!...Well, not that you had room to talk about too many headvoices. You stopped, figuring it was pointless to follow her now. You did, however, realize one thing. She was starting to follow the same 'path' as you. That alone made you grind your teeth. The lone thought of anyone continuing in your footsteps, whether from your 'influence' or not, made your blood boil.

"_Nny! Figure the story out behind it! You don't remember yours, no, but I guarantee she does! She thinks she's doing this for good, you heard her say that yourself. You did it for that damn monster!!"_

You closed your eyes, hating memories that always ended up in your mind. "I know, Nailbunny!" You kept walking, hearing the obscenities being spoken to you from the mouths from the trash that filled the night streets. "What's the matter? Your boyfriend kick you out? I can see why. Why don't you just hang yourself and do us a favor? Ah ha ha ha ha ha!!!!" You looked over at them, stopping in your tracks. Him and his 'friends' were laughing. You grabbed something you'd tucked in your boot earlier, as you had planned to have a nice long 'walk' earlier that day, then tucked it deep into one of their chests, saying only a short sentence, "Fuck off, bastard." He fell, spasming uncontrollably. The other two fell down shortly afterwards, as you held your sparking taser. 'I understand her reasons...but I still don't support them...some fucked up reasoning I have.' You grabbed the two knocked out fools by the collars, dragging them away. "I have plans for you two. I do hope you didn't have anything else to do." And you disappeared into the darkness, dragging the bodies behind you. You still never got caught, which still made you curious sometimes.

[Your POV ; Next Night]

You walked around the city examining various people. 'I hate it here. All these...people. They and their actions make me sick.' You thought inside. You kept walking, seeing people enter a nearby café. You looked curiously, then decided to enter it as well. It was filled with teens and young adults; the worst ages for your taste, even though you were in that age-line yourself. You went over to a corner, sitting quietly, observing everyone. "Yeah, she was a babe! And the way she felt inside, ugh! She was-" You tuned out that conversation after just a few seconds of hearing it; you hated males and their...perverseness. You looked around, then seen a group of teens wearing all black, vampire teeth in their mouth, and other 'goth' things on them; purses, bags, etc. They were wanna-be goths, as everyone called them. "Yeah, the night welcomes me. It makes me feel...alive!" You heard one of them say, crossing his arms in front of himself, like an old-time movie vamp did. You rolled your eyes, diverting your attention to a set of people entering, who made your blood boil. It was a small group you recognized as from your old high school, from a few years back. You stood up, not wanting to get in a confrontation right now. "Oh, lookie! It's Car! Yo, Freak-face! Where ya goin'?! This place too normal for ya!?" Yelled out a male, making your left eye twitch, and then walk faster towards the door.

You felt a hand pull you away, then a voice afterwards, chuckling and talking, "Woah, woah, babe. Don't go so look nice in those clothes, even for a gothic chick! Ah ha ha ha ha!!" You wanted to rip his face off at that point, but pulled from his grasp, trying to control your anger at least a little bit. You were here to look for that killer, not kill yourself.

'Wait! Why do you hesitate!? Unleash your anger!!' It was Chloe, yelling at you. You smirked, everyone seeing you, "No, I don't think so, Chloe. I told you, I'm doing this MY way!" The guy grabbed your shirt, "I was right before, you're a freak! Hey, straightjacket needed over here!!!" You flicked out your knife tucked in your boot, holding it to his throat, nobody around you really paying attention, "Yeah? Try it, I dare you. I've been wanting to have your head as a trophy on my wall since tenth grade. So, shut the fuck up, before I turn that want into a deed already done!" His eyes went small, then slowly backed away, "Alright, I was wrong. I didn't know you were unstable. Sheesh, serious much?" You stepped towards him, your eyes yielding a death glare, "Really? Well, watch your back, or I'll show you how unstable I really am." And with that you walked out, holding your knife in your tight grasp, anger seething.

Soon you felt a strong force run into you, causing you to drop to the ground, the knife falling into the dark part of an alley way. "Fuck! My blade! I just bought that! Why don't you watch where you're-" You looked up, stopping your sentence when you seen it was that guy from before, Johnny. "Oh, didn't know it was you. Sorry, then. I thought it was some of those jerks following me." You got up, brushing yourself off, then seen him staring at you from the corner of his eye; not 'watching you', more of thinking of something and trying to figure something out. "You're name's Johnny, right?" You asked, making him dart his eyes fully away from you, before getting a slight nod; he really wasn't used to talking to others, was he? "Can I ask you a question? Then you can continue...to whatever it was you were doing." He looked at the ground, "I guess. I always have answers to everything, they're probably not answers you'd like to hear though." You smiled, "There's no wrong answer to this, it's just your opinion." He shrugged, meaning for you to ask him. "Well, why'd you come back?" You asked, looking off into the distance. "Why do you want to know?" He asked, not seeming to trust you. "I want to know why anyone would ever come back here. There's nothing here, except...well, memories for me.." You trailed off, then seen his stare from the corner of his eyes again, meaning he probably was curious of your past, even if only a tiny bit. "You want to know what happened to me, don't you? I don't care about telling you. You probably will wish I didn't tell you afterwards. My upbringing wasn't...it was hell. Plain and simple, it was hell." He looked at you this time, interested now, "How so?"

Well, that's it for the chapter. Ya like? Didn't like? Well, the next chapter will reveal everything about Carmen (I know a lot has been given already but more will be given). Well, until then, bye!!


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